[PRIVATE DIARY – ENTRY #6]

3:42 a.m.

I should be asleep. My brain knows this, but my body… my body’s still humming from the adrenaline. From the fear. From him.

The teleportation system crashed during a trial tonight. At first, I thought it was a nightmare. Waking up to an airescreen buzzing with Ethan’s face didn’t help. But it was real—someone was stuck inside the portal dome. We were moments away from disaster, and all I could think was: I have to fix this. Now.

I tunneled in without thinking, fingers flying on instinct alone. It’s strange how calm I can be in a crisis—strange and also deeply ironic, given how often I freak out over things like lasagna on my chin or wild curls that refuse to cooperate. (Seriously, I looked like I lost a fight with a tumbleweed.) But tonight? Tonight I was laser-focused. Found the bug. Fixed it. Saved them.

Ethan was stunned—like, really stunned. He said I was incredible. That word again. He said it about my work, but I swear it felt like it was about me. Then he called me May.

May.

Only Mel calls me that. Until now. And hearing it in Ethan’s voice—soft, rich, smooth as moonlight—it did something to me. It felt like he saw me. Not the scientist. Not the overthinker. Me.

I should’ve said more. But I just bit my lip—literally, hard enough to bleed—to keep from blurting out all the things I felt. I didn’t want him to see my desire, my need to be seen and wanted back.

But when he said, “Sweet dreams, May,” I felt like he meant it. I felt… cherished.

And now I’m lying here, blankets up to my chin, lights off, heart full—and so painfully confused. Because this man who makes me feel more alive than I ever thought possible… isn’t even in the room. He’s only ever been pixels. A face. A voice. A presence.

So why does it feel like I’ve never been closer to someone in my entire life?

—May

Written by fictional character Amara Ashford
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Coming September 2025